


Honesty

by codysspinkicks



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Anidala, Coruscant (Star Wars), F/M, Mandalore, Mandalorian, Maul is dead in this AU, Obi and Cody may or may not have a moment, Obi-Wan and Anakin are indeed Ahsoka's adoptive parents, Obitine, Slight Anidala, Star Wars AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:09:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22868413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codysspinkicks/pseuds/codysspinkicks
Summary: Ahsoka has left due to the pain brought upon her by crimes she didn't commit and the earned distrust of the Jedi Order. Becoming disillusioned by the Order and Republic, Obi-Wan takes a break from his duties and embarks on a trip away from Coruscant to make some decisions.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 10
Kudos: 99





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of the characters or the plot that led up to this story are mine, they are the property of Lucasfilm and Disney. I only own the story of the results of Ahsoka's expulsion.

_"I'm sorry Master, but I'm not coming back."_  
When Ahsoka said the words, both Anakin's and Obi-Wan's hearts sank. After taking a moment to process them, Anakin ran after his former Padawan; Obi-Wan wouldn't have been far behind had Plo Koon not held him back.

As the trial had proceeded prior to this, a knot in his stomach had kept growing. _This isn't_ _right_ _,_ he knew. Somebody else was behind this. Obi-Wan and Plo Koon were the only council members who voted the young Padawan not guilty, arguing that the evidence was mostly circumstantial and that removing Ahsoka from the Order was unquestionably wrong and unfair to her. She was just unlucky enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.  
But it was Anakin who helped Ahsoka prove her innocence. Funny how her innocence had to be proven, and not her guilt. As a member of the Jedi council, it was against policy for Obi-Wan to directly help Ahsoka clear her name.

As much as he wanted it to be, none of this was in his control.

To Obi-Wan, Ahsoka was like a daughter, and to see what she was going through was devastating. To have been a part of the cause of her pain was even worse.

Oh, how he wished he would've spoken up more.

Now these memories haunted him and kept him awake at night. He was disappointed, disillusioned, confused. Maybe even a bit angry. But he refused to let anger get the better of him.

Anakin, however, let his anger be known. He somewhat lashed out at nobody in particular, though he did secretly think it was mostly Admiral Tarkin to blame for the council's unfairness. After his tirade, he locked himself in his quarters and refused to come out. Obi-Wan continued to attend council meetings, though numbly and without a say in any matter unless asked, to which he vaguely answered with a lack of focus.

Now Yoda had called a meeting to "clear the air," which Obi-Wan assumed would be unsuccessful. And he was right.

"All right are you, Obi-Wan? You have been quiet ever since the incident. Distracted, you have been. Have anything on your mind, do you?"

The red-headed Jedi shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "This entire ordeal was absolutely preventable." He stated after taking a moment to collect his words. "The rush to give Ahsoka a half-trial and expel her from the order was a grave mistake. I can't make peace with any of this."

"Your feelings are in the way of your duties here, Kenobi." Mace Windu promptly responded. "How uncharacteristic of you."

"Perhaps," Replied Obi-Wan, getting up from his seat and turning to the large window overlooking the city, "But I can't help but think that we may have permanently scarred her. What evidence we had was mostly circumstantial, and with it we quickly judged her as guilty and expelled her."

"Your mind is clouded." Windu stated. "And Tano was taught a valuable lesson. She-"

"Yes, she learned never to trust any of us again." He rushed out of the room, on the verge of tears. This was too much. Ahsoka's absence, Anakin's reaction, Windu's lack of hindsight, it was all beyond overwhelming.

"Obi-Wan!" Yoda followed him. Obi-Wan reluctantly turned to face him as he bit his lip to hide his emotion.

"Understand, I do. Really. We are undeniably responsible. But eating you up, this is. Take a break from the council, and Coruscant, you must. Off to find tranquility, you go."

"Will that really do any good?" Obi-Wan met the other Jedi's gaze for a second and then let his eyes wander.

Yoda nodded. "Quiet your mind, you need to. But in the end, to make peace, only you can decide."

"Yes, Master." Kenobi turned and headed towards his room. But before entering to pack, he knocked once again on Anakin's door. No answer.

"Anakin?" He gently called. "Please open the door."

Silence.

"I just want to make sure you're all right...I mean, I know you're not, but we've already lost Ahsoka. We can't lose eachother."

After several seconds, the door was opened by the sickly-appearing Jedi.

"You look horrible." Anakin stated bluntly, eyeing his former master up and down. Dark circles had formed under his eyes due to lack of sleep, his hair was unkempt, and he hadn't shaved his beard in a while, which resulted in an awkward length between reaching his shoulders and its usual length.

"Oh, _I_ look horrible? You should look in the mirror once in a while." Obi-Wan retorted, forming the closest thing to a smirk he could at the moment. Anakin appeared similarly with his hair and eyes, and a bit of stubble on his chin.

The banter didn't last. The Jedi master laid a hand on the other's shoulder. "How are you holding up, really?"

"I'm at a loss. I know she hasn't died, but it almost feels like it. There's been a weight on my chest that has been making it physically hard to breathe. She hasn't answered any of my calls."

"I'm in a similar place. Where there was once light and fulfillment within the Order, I now sense darkness and deprivation."

"I feel it too," Replied Anakin, "And I sense that we're in tune with what Ahsoka is feeling." He then rather angrily pointed toward the Republic Center. "It wouldn't surprise me if Tarkin influenced all this."

"While we can't have a definitive explanation right now, I admit that he did seem eager for these events to play out. But remember, it was Ahsoka's friend, Padawan Offee, that framed her."

"I sense regret in Master Yoda. But he couldn't have done much." Obi-Wan paused. "I got a bit flustered just now in the meeting and had to leave. Yoda instructed me to take temporary leave to clear my head. Why don't you come?"

"Where are you planning on going?"

"I'm not sure. I would stay in space if it wasn't such a waste of fuel. I might just find a random planet to reside on and use the ship I take as shelter."

"I would like to in a way, but I should stay here in case Ahsoka changes her mind."

"Anakin," Said Obi-Wan gently, "I have a feeling she's not coming back. Once she makes a decision, she sticks with it and without compromise."

"...You're right." Anakin sighed. "But I think I'll stay anyway."

"Fair enough." Obi-Wan eyed his friend. "I haven't heard or seen you leave your room in a while. Have you been eating well?"

"No. Have you?"

"Well, no." He admitted himself.

"I'll contact you every day and check up on you. Take care of yourself."

"You too." Anakin nodded.

Obi-Wan pat Anakin on the back and made his way to his own room.

Before packing, he took heed of Anakin's words and shaved and combed his hair. He then packed necessities such as these and a few changes of clothes into a rucksack. He didn't need much; the Jedi were taught as younglings that less physical items meant less attachment, and therefore more room for the Force to work through them, so they usually packed light.

In the cockpit of the small ship lent to him by Anakin, Obi-Wan jumped to lightspeed, rather subconsciously deciding on the Outer Rim.

As he was almost effortlessly floating about space, his mind was doing the same. If Anakin's suspicions were correct and the Republic, and possibly even the Order itself was indeed so corrupt, then Obi-Wan wouldn't stay. He _couldn't_ stay. Honesty was one of his most esteemed values, and he hated deceit. Especially when the underlying intentions were not ultimately for a decidedly good outcome that outweighed any hurt. He had learned the hard way that deceit hurt people from his own agreements to such actions before, and that in turn hurt him. This time, everyone was feeling hurt, and of a magnitude far greater than the last time.

The guilt was overbearing. He was ashamed in the events that had occurred the week before. He was grieved. He was _angry_. But Obi-Wan would not let these emotions control him. He would feel them, but ultimately _he_ would control them, and not the other way around.

He activated his comlink.

"Ahsoka, if you're listening, I am so, so deeply sorry. I am sorry for all of the hurt the Council has caused you. I am sorry for any hurt I may have caused you. I am sorry that we distrusted you so. And most of all, I'm sorry that I didn't do more. I should have. Had I convinced three more to find you not guilty, things would be very different right now. If I had spoken up more, you would still be a member of the Order. Master Yoda is regretful of everything. Anakin refuses to leave his room. And I have been sent out in space to take a break after an outburst during a meeting. We're hurt by the consequences of our own actions. We have lost one of the most skilled Jedi the Order has ever seen." Obi-Wan's voice broke. "When we lost you, we lost the most passionate, determined, perseverant, brave and fearless Jedi Knight. And we have nobody to blame but ourselves."

"I know you can take care of yourself, but I feel as though we've scarred you. We failed you. I failed you." Tears were rolling down his cheeks at this point.

"If you ever need anything, anything at all, do not hesitate to contact either me or Anakin. _We miss you_."

As he ended the call, he wondered whether Ahsoka still even had her comlink, or if he was just talking to empty space.

But Ahsoka had indeed been listening on the other side, crying silently.


	2. The Casualty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling insecure about this chapter in particular. I've mulled over what I think could be changed or improved and I've only been able to make small changes and I'm still left feeling dissatisfied. This is the first time I've ever written something without an outline, or without knowing exactly what my major events and points were, which I'm not used to, but this is the result. I'm posting it anyway; I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well! Thank you for all the hits and kudos.

Obi-Wan sniffled and dried his eyes immediately, not used to acknowledging and expressing much emotion, even if he was alone.

By this time, he had successfully reached the Outer Rim. He began scanning the area for planets or moons that he was familiar with, or that he at least knew the air was breathable. In his peripheral vision, he spotted Concordia. He knew that wasn't a wise choice, as he didn't exactly get along with Pre Viszla or the rest of Death Watch the last time he had visited. Viszla obviously hated him for his creed and the history between the two different cultures.  
Regardless, he hoped things had remained calm since he left. At least, he hadn't heard anything from–

Suddenly, the ship jolted and the engine sputtered. Obi-Wan was quick to try and resolve the issue, and for a minute, the ship was working normally again.

But it was just after that when he realized that he should have brought his trusty astromech with him, or better yet, he should've borrowed a ship from somebody who _wasn't_ Anakin.

"Blast!" He could feel the ship and its functions slipping out of his control. Then he heard a noise that no pilot wishes to hear. The engine had all but completely gone out.

He hurriedly veered to the left, towards the Mandalore system. He would try not to land on Concordia to avoid unnecessary conflict.

There was another moon that orbited close to Concordia, but he didn't know how the breathing conditions were, so he steadied on past whilst trying to maintain the remaining control he had of the Twilight.

As he entered Mandalore's atmosphere, he realized that this would not be a happy landing. He desperately tried to slow the ship, but it was rapidly gaining momentum and he couldn't manage to slow it down at all. 

He braced himself for the impact.

Slam!

Obi-Wan immediately blacked out.

____________________________________________________________________

Obi-Wan awoke to severe, debilitating pain. In addition to other pain, he had a headache so severe that he couldn't open his eyes for a moment.

"Ow!"

"Obi-Wan! Don't move."

He knew that voice. He slowly turned his head towards it. Satine had been sitting at his side the whole time. She jumped up when he cried out in pain and laid a protective hand on him, her face ornamented with deep concern. She was relieved to see him awake, but worried as she knew that this was just the beginning of hardship brought on by the accident.

Turning his head so made him dizzy. He cradled it in his hands. He couldn't remember anything after having entered Mandalore's atmosphere, but he remembered possibly waking up upon being rescued.

_He was lying flat and being rushed somewhere. He heard panic. He heard Satine._   
_"Obi-Wan! Hold on, please. Stay with me."_   
_His eyes fluttered open, but only in a series of fleeting moments. Then finally they closed without opening again._   
_"No! Obi-Wan, please!"_

Then the near-unbearable pain impacted him all at once. In his knee, in his head, between his chest and his neck, and in his side.

"S-Satine?" His voice wavered.

"Yes, it's me. You crashed here a little over an hour ago. It was a horrific site. You're lucky to be alive."

"...I did? Um, where d-d-did you find me? Did my...did my c-crash...did it hurt anyone?"

"No, you landed halfway across the planet. Some construction workers who were working on the dome spotted your ship through the windows."

"I was afraid you wouldn't wake up, Obi. You're severely concussed, you have five broken ribs, a broken collarbone, and you have a torn tendon in your knee."

He looked at her again. His vision was a little blurry, which wasn't helping the dizziness.

"Oh. Um..." He cleared his throat and blinked, but his vision didn't clear any.

"What's wrong?" Satine's eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"Ahsoka...Ahsoka's g-gone. I...I must. Must speak to him." Obi-Wan dazedly tried to get out of the bed.

Satine stopped him by putting her hands securely on his shoulders. "I'm sorry, but you can't move for right now. Who do you need to speak to?"

"Uh...Anakin. I told him. I said I'd...see him...talk to him every d-day."

"I can contact the Jedi temple for you and ask for Anakin, then. Please, don't move."

She activated her holotransmitter and sent the signal. She received a call not five minutes later.

"Master Skywalker." The Duchess nodded.

"Your Grace, how may I be of assistance?"

Satine didn't respond. Her eyes wandered away, hating to have to make contact over such circumstances.

"Duchess, what's the matter?" He saw the worry on her face and knew that there was terrible news.

"Obi-Wan is here. He crashed on Mandalore. He has sustained critical injuries." Satine looked over at the Jedi, who was trying to think about what he even needed to say to Anakin. "He said he must talk to you. He's barely coherent."

"Obi-Wan!" Satine handed the comlink to him.

"...Anakin. Has she...she, uh...has she come b-back?"

"Who, Ahsoka? No Master, she's made her decision. Remember?"

"...Right...of c-course..." He held his head in his hands again.

"Obi-Wan." Anakin was clearly upset. "I'm coming. Duchess, do you think this is something he can pull through?" His voice broke at the last two words.

"The doctor is unsure. If he does, it's likely he'll sustain lasting brain damage."

Anakin bowed his head. "I'll alert the Council. Thank you for your call, your Grace. I'm on my way." He hung up.

"There. Anakin will be here soon, Obi." She teared up, silently praying that this wasn't the end.

It was dusk now. The sun's final rays shone through the room and on Satine. Her eyes were sparkling.

Of course Obi-Wan noticed, blurry as his vision was. A small smile turned the corners of his lips.

"Obi-Wan, what is it?" Satine leaned over.

Obi-Wan, still dazed, merely said "You."

An expression of flattery and concern fused across her face. She felt the other's forehead and the side of his face. "Hmm...you're not feverish."

The Jedi's breathing became heavy as he became weary. A fit of coughs began next.

Satine looked to his hurt side, and then back at his face. She wondered if he was experiencing internal bleeding.

Obi-Wan's eyes had visibly been growing heavy for a few minutes. Now, they suddenly closed.

Satine immediately requested the medical droid's assistance as she felt Obi-Wan's pulse. It was steady, but neither the doctor nor his assistants were sure if he could be kept stable, and she was worried that he would slip into a comatose state, that which the doctor had said was very possible.

"Don't fall asleep. Just hold on, Obi-Wan. Please. Hold on." She panicked and grabbed his hand with bated breath and squeezed it as tears found their way onto the cold floor below.

His eyes fluttered open again for a moment, and he faintly squeezed back, as if to reassure her that he would awake again. He grinned slightly before drifting off.

She smiled back as the tears continued to flow. Amid everything that had occurred and what the doctor had told her, she hoped fervently that this wasn't goodbye.


	3. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of this chapter? I tried to balance the emotion of Obi-Wan's situation with classic Obikin banter.

It was during the late hours of the night when Anakin arrived. Two of Satine's personal guards were waiting for him and led him to the room that Obi-Wan was staying in.

Obi-Wan had begun to stir just before he arrived. Satine had been trying not to fall asleep, but when she heard Obi-Wan waking up, she jumped up from her bedside chair and knelt at the Jedi's side.

"...Satine." it took a minute to process that Satine was still in the room. It concerned him that she wasn't in her own quarters, resting.

"What is it, Obi?" She laid a hand on his arm and gave a small smile, overjoyed that he hadn't slipped into a coma when the doctor said he likely would. Tears formed in her eyes again.

He became distracted and stared momentarily at her, then looked all about the room as if he had never seen it before, which he hadn't, in a way. "I can see now."

Satine chuckled. "You've beaten the odds, Obi-Wan. You weren't supposed to make it this far."

It was then that Anakin and Satine's guards approached the doorway. Satine stood from her position and greeted Anakin. "Master Skywalker, he's just awoken. The doctor wasn't sure he would at all."

"Thank you, Duchess." Anakin nodded and then hurried over to Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan." Anakin touched his shoulder.

Obi-Wan realized who his visitor was after a moment. "Anakin?"

Satine hung back. Now that Anakin was here, things were a little awkward.

He gave a sigh of relief. "Master, when Yoda instructed you to take a break from Coruscant, I don't think this is what he meant." Anakin joked, relieved that his mentor and friend responded. He wiped a stray tear out of his eye.

It took a minute for Obi-Wan to process the joke, but once he did, he snickered.

Anakin smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Obi-Wan propped himself up with Anakin's assistance. "I'm...I'm in a lot of p-pain. And quite...quite thirsty." He was no longer dizzy, but his head was still throbbing as his other injuries thoroughly pained him elsewhere.

"I'll go get you some tea. I can get all of us some." Satine spoke up.

"Thank you." Anakin and Obi-Wan said in unison.

Satine nodded and hurried out of the room.

"How's Ahsoka? Have you...have you b-been able to...able to c-contact her?"

"No, still nothing yet. Try not to worry about it."

"I..." Obi-Wan burst into a fit of coughs.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin's smile faded as concern grew greater.

"I'm..." He coughed twice more. "I'm all right."

"It's so good to see you alive. Now we just have to keep you this way."

"Trust me, Anakin, I...I d-did not plan for your ship to fail on m-me."

"Maybe not, but you knew what you were doing when you crashed here." Anakin smirked.

Obi-Wan blushed. "...In my defense, it was either here, C-Concordia, the other moon with questionable breathing...conditions, or the n-neighboring...systems with...questionable b-breathing conditions."  
He rested his head in his hand, feeling as though his head would split wide open.

"Don't worry, Master, I certainly don't blame you."

"...Anakin!"

"Look, in all seriousness, what are you gonna do after you heal up?"

"Well...I don't know. I d-don't want to wear out my welcome. Satine is...very b-busy, without a doubt."

"Oh, I'm sure the Duchess won't mind."

Obi-Wan glared at Anakin.

"Anakin, whether you abide by it or not, I'm sure you're...aware...aware of the b-bindings of the J-jedi code."

"What do you mean whether I 'abide by it or not?'"

"...When it...c-comes to you and Padmé, I've put two and two together. I've n-never told...anyone, and I never will. I...I promise you that."

Anakin cast his eyes down. "How long have you known?" He nervously fiddled with a decorative figurine placed on a side table.

"I first had suspicions of your f-feelings at the beginning of this...of this war. I've k-known of your relationship for a few months, I believe."

"It's not something I'm going to c-condemn. I'm sure you two face plenty of hardship as the consequence of having to...k-keep it a secret. And besides, seeing you...happy, how can I take that away from you?"

Anakin was quiet for a few moments.

"You have no idea how much I appreciate that, Obi-Wan." Anakin rested a hand on his shoulder.  
"But just how you want me to be happy, I want to see you happy. You've been what many consider a model Jedi, and you've been through a lot. I want to see you by the side of the woman you love, where I know you'll be happiest."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Anakin, thank you, but...it's f-forbidden. And besides, even if I d-did leave the Order, that d-doesn't change the differences that Satine and I share."

Anakin shrugged. "I'm sure you can work through them together. Just talk it through with her. Look for compromise. But she'll still be the Duchess, and you'll be a consort. Ask her what minor roles you might fulfill on Mandalore."

"You know, Anakin, you m-make everything sound so easy." Obi-Wan wasn't used to Anakin giving _him_ advice, quite the opposite actually.

"I have experience in this, Master. But it's not easy. Though I think you two agree more than you think. In the end, you have to decide what's more important and where your loyalties lie."

At that moment, Satine walked in with a tray holding four cups of tea. She had brewed two for Obi-Wan, whom she wanted to make sure stayed hydrated. Both men thanked her.

"Satine, thank you for your c-care and hospitality, but...I'm sure you're b-busy...wouldn't you like to g-go and get some rest?" He asked after noticing her stifle a yawn.

Satine took a sip of her tea. "I appreciate that, Obi-Wan, but you're my only priority at the moment. Any affairs of Mandalore can wait."

Anakin slyly winked at Obi-Wan where Satine couldn't see, causing the bedridden Jedi to blush slightly.

He cleared his throat. "Well then, I can only offer my thanks." Casting a subtle glare towards Anakin.

It apparently wasn't subtle enough. Satine glanced at Anakin, who quickly began to gulp down his tea.

The three finished their drinks, and then Obi-Wan expressed his need for more rest. Satine and Anakin agreed, but decided to confer with the medical droid first, who had come in to check on the patient. He conducted a brief evaluation and decided that there was no longer much risk of the Jedi master slipping into a coma, and that sleep would be beneficial. Obi-Wan soon drifted off, followed by the others.

_______________________

Obi-Wan awoke by midmorning the following day, slightly amused upon finding the others still asleep in their chairs. Anakin's snoring made the scene even more humorous. He rolled his eyes.

He then quietly reached for his bag on the floor. As soon as his two companions woke up, Anakin could help him change into a fresh robe that wasn't torn or dirty and he could comb his hair. He strived to reach the bag, adjusting and leaning more and more until he fell face-first onto the floor.

Thud!

He half-cried out in agony before the wind was knocked out of him.

"Obi-Wan!" Yelled two voices.

Satine and Anakin quickly turned the patient on his back. He heavily wheezed as he struggled to catch his breath.

Satine immediately ordered the doctor's assistance. The medical droid brought with him an oxygen machine and other equipment.

Next, Satine and Anakin worked together to pick Obi-Wan up and gingerly place him back in his bed.

"I need you to exit the room while I perform a scan of his lungs. I must make sure he hasn't punctured his lung since he's broken so many of his ribs." The droid explained as he began to access the equipment he had brought.

Satine and Anakin walked out into the corridor, Satine on the verge of panic.

"Duchess, would you like me to go get you some water?" Anakin thought she would have a panic attack.

Satine shook her head. "No, thank you. And you can call me Satine. It's just...every time he seems to make progress, something happens."

"I've known Obi-Wan ever since I was a small child. I know he'll get through this now. He's the most determined person we know."

Satine managed to nearly control her breathing by this time. "Thank you, Anakin." She sighed. "It's just so hard. I thought I was going to lose him. And to watch him go through so much pain, and to see him struggle..."

"His pain is your pain." Anakin finished.

Satine sheepishly looked down, trying to hide her blush. "Exactly." She responded quietly.

"Hey, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Obi-Wan has told me everything. He also told me that he regrets not having stayed behind to help you rebuild Mandalore."

The Duchess looked up at Anakin, surprised. "Really?"

"Yes. If you ask me, he's more in love with you now than even back then. He just can't express it."

"Because of the Code." Satine frowned.

"Exactly. But I know Obi-Wan. He will stay here if he decides to cut ties with the Order. He's a man of honesty, and he'll follow the Code to a T until he leaves."

"He wants to leave? Why?"

"–I have finished the scan. Both lungs are intact, though his right lung is bruised and the tissue is scarred." The medical droid opened the door and walked into the hallway. "The patient will need oxygen for the remainder of today, most of tomorrow, and maybe the next day, depending on the progress he makes."

Knowing it could have been worse, Satine sighed with relief as she and Anakin walked back into the room. Obi-Wan, wearing a face mask, already looked weary again.

"Obi-Wan, the next time you need something, wake one of us up instead of frightening us like that." The Duchess gently scolded.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to ch-change into a clean robe and g-groom myself a bit, but I guess that will have to wait e-even longer." His voice was slightly muffled because of the mask.

Satine sighed. "Since you just got the mask on, let's wait on that until we've finished breakfast." She called to an assistant walking past in the hallway and requested a rather hearty breakfast for herself and Anakin, and soup with tea and crackers for Obi-Wan.

"It's n-not like I'm ill." Obi-Wan complained.

"You'll be having soup and crackers for a few days now; it will make me feel better. Also, you need to talk as little as possible." She promptly reminded him with a firm look.

"Hm." Obi-Wan crossed his arms.

Anakin couldn't help but grin. Obi-Wan and Satine's interactions never failed to amuse him.


	4. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the duplicate chapter. I think this was a result of a poor connection on my end when I posted this chapter. I have also just made a few tweaks to the chapter to polish it a bit more.
> 
> I also want to thank Kyle+Scanlon for commenting on what was the duplicate chapter! I'm so glad that you're anticipating the next update. I'm a little over halfway through Chapter Five: Consideration. I promise it's coming; I've had to navigate myself and my writing amid COVID-19 and the drastic changes it's caused for college, so I've had to change some things, re-evaluate and re-balance my time and coursework going forward. I'm working on this fic little by little.

The day passed without any more health scares. Anakin was instructed by the Council to spend the next few days at Satine's kingdom to ensure that his former master and friend would steadily recover, then he was to report Obi-Wan's condition back to them afterward. The next day was mostly spent by Anakin and Satine talking about past situations, with Obi-Wan adding corrections and commentary wherever he could through his oxygen mask.

After over an hour of this banter, an alarming thought suddenly came to Satine that he couldn't shake.

"Obi-Wan, two days ago you said that Ahsoka was gone. What did you mean? Has she...?"

"Oh, no. She's left the Jedi O-Order." Obi-Wan answered with his muffled voice.

"Another Jedi bombed the Temple and killed Jedi, clones and civilians, and framed Ahsoka for it." Anakin filled Satine in. "The Council didn't trust Ahsoka, and didn't give her a real trial. They expelled her from the Order without hard evidence. Then she endured a harsh Republic trial against Admiral Tarkin, with the punishment of death." There was a bitterness in Anakin's voice upon mentioning the Admiral.

"She d-decided that if we couldn't trust her, t-then she couldn't trust us. I don't blame her one b-bit." Obi-Wan grimly explained.

"That's absolutely terrible! I imagine you couldn't do much, Obi." Satine held her tongue against any remarks she had about the corruption of the Republic that might have been extending to the Order, though she knew that Jedi Council members likely had little control over how these things were conducted if they were a minority of an opposing argument. Nevertheless, she quietly wondered where Anakin - and Obi-Wan, more importantly - stood in their opinions of the affiliations now.

"Well, Plo K-koon and I voted against A-Ahsoka's expulsion. We pled with the rest o-of the Council to do the same, that the evidence wasn't very solid. She was at the wrong p-place at the wrong time, and there was next to no e-evidence that she herself had taken any of the actions accused of her. She e-even had an alibi during the time of the actual bombing." Obi-Wan sighed. "As Council members though, we c-couldn't help Ahsoka make her case against the accusations."

"Ahsoka is a lovely person. I hate that this happened. And now she's on her own? Isn't she only sixteen?"

Anakin nodded. "I've contacted her several times. Nothing."

"I sent her an apology m-message, but chances are that she doesn't have her comlink any more. The whole reason I was o-out anyways was because I got agitated with another Council member who doesn't u-understand the gravity of the situation. Master Yoda instructed me to retreat away from Coruscant after that; Anakin's ship f-failed, and this was the c-closest and safest place I knew of to land."

"Thank the stars you crashed here instead of somewhere else. Crashing elsewhere might've meant that nobody would have tended to you in time, and we almost lost you as it is."

"Are you sure I-I'm not any trouble?"

"Of course I'm sure! I might get back to my duties the day after tomorrow, but I won't leave you for too long. I've rescheduled all my meetings, anyway."

Obi-Wan wanted to protest, but he knew it would be futile. Satine was as stubborn as he was, if not more so. Still, he couldn't help but feel burdensome.

______________________________________

Before Anakin left three days later, he told Obi-Wan he would contact him every day or so and wished him luck on "getting with Satine," which Obi-Wan scolded him for before saying goodbye.

Obi-Wan ended up having to use oxygen for longer than expected, but it was definite that he could stop using it in the next two or three days.

By this time, the Jedi had grown beyond antsy. He would frequently squirm during the day, and toss-and-turn while trying to sleep, which only irritated Satine, though she knew how hard it must have been to finally have energy yet not be able to do anything. Especially for the ambitious, always-on-the-move Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"When did the doctor say I c-could start to move around?" He questioned Satine, desperate to do _something_. He had the mask off at the moment because Satine had brought him tea to sip on.

Satine sighed and sat on the bed. "The doctor said as early as tomorrow after lunch, but you'll probably need assistance. Maybe I can help you get outside tomorrow." She handed the cup to Obi-Wan.

"That would be lovely. I-I'm bored."

Satine chuckled. "You're not used to relaxing, are you?"

"Well, no. But e-even if I did take the time to d-do so, this would be way too long."

"You have to take time for yourself every once in a while. When was the last time you did that?"

"To meditate?"

"To do nothing."

"Mmm...I c-can't recall."

"Seems like this rest is long overdue, then." Satine smiled and shifted a little closer, staring Obi-Wan in the eyes. Obi-Wan stared back and returned the smile.

"Your Grace, you're needed in the meeting concerning the issue of funding changes." An assistant of Satine's walked in.

Satine looked down, a bit dismayed as Obi-Wan blushed. Then she reluctantly stood and headed out. "I won't be long, I promise."

Obi-Wan sighed, more antsy than ever. He spent a minute looking about the room when his comlink beeped.

He immediately answered, bored out of his mind. "Hello?"

"Obi-Wan! It's so relieving to hear your voice. I've just heard of your accident. How are you feeling?" It was Senator Amidala.

"Padmé! I-I'm...I'm all right. I'm just ready to get up and move around. How are things on C-Coruscant?"

"Things are normal, except everyone is worried sick about you. Commander Cody is wondering when he'll have his General back."

Obi-Wan gave a delayed laugh. "Cody's the best. But I'm n-not sure when I'll be back."

"Anakin described to me your injuries. I'm just glad you've made it through, Obi-Wan. Take all the time you need."

"Well actually, Anakin and I have thought about this whole o-ordeal and...I'm not sure about the Order anymore. I h-have more or less lost faith in it, the Republic, and even the C-council; I'm unsure."

"Anakin-uh...has mentioned his own reservations about continuing to serve. He seems rather angry. I feel awful for Ahsoka."

"Oh, he is. A-and I was before, too, t-to tell the truth. It's b-been a shock to us all."

Obi-Wan heard a sigh on the other end. "I just hope she's all right."

"Padmé, she's the fiercest person I-I know. Physically, I know she's fine. Emotionally, however...I k-know we've failed her. I mean the Council did. You did wonderfully in how you d-defended her."

"You didn't fail Ahsoka, Obi-Wan. I know how you and Master Plo tried to prevent this outcome. You did all you could. Stop blaming yourself."

"I could have d-done more."

"Technically, yes, but at the expense of your title and affiliation. This was beyond your control. The other Council members' view of the situation has been clouded by-."

"-By the Dark Side. I-I sense it very strongly."

"Yeah." Both were quiet for a long time.

"So, are you enjoying staying at Satine's?"

"Padmé!" He could hear his friend laughing on the other side.

"I see the way you lose it as soon as she walks into the room. She looks at you the same way you look at her, Obi,Wan. She loves you. You two could live a very happy life together."

"Anakin's already given me a lecture o-on this, thank you."

Padmé chuckled. "I'm just saying. Now, I have to run, so make sure you don't hurt yourself any more or get yourself into more trouble than you have already."

"I'll certainly try, but I-I can't make any promises." He gave a chuckle of his own.

"Fair enough. I can't wait to see you back in once piece. Bye, Obi-Wan."

"Goodbye, Padmé."

After the conversation, he finished his tea and reluctantly put his mask back on. Satine had already caught him taking it off and going without it when she wasn't in the room twice, and of course, she fully chided for it.

___________________________________

"And are these injuries that Obi-Wan will recover from, do you think?" Yoda asked Anakin. He was currently updating the Council on Obi-Wan's condition and prognosis in the High Council Chambers that evening. The large, round room was adorned with a golden glow as the sun prepared to set. Master Luminara Unduli was sitting in Obi-Wan's place, acting as an interim member of the Council.

"According to the doctor, he has permanent brain damage. He now has a speech disorder, slightly slowed cognitive functions, and his personality has changed a little, if you ask me."

"How so, Skywalker?" Questioned Mace Windu.

"Well, he seems a little less uptight and strict than usual. Just a little more relaxed. I'd say it's good for him."

Windu and Yoda exchanged glances.

"And what is his prognosis physically, hm?"

"Physically, he is expected to make a full recovery. It will take a few more weeks, though."

"A relief to hear, this is." Yoda expressed. "Thank you, Master Skywalker. That is all."

Anakin bowed and showed himself out.


	5. Consideration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long in comparison to my other chapters, but I just couldn't bring myself to cut anything out.

"Here we are." Satine led Obi-Wan to the edge of the rooftop of the palace the next day, supporting him by carrying part of his weight as he leaned on her. Her four personal guards followed behind by a short distance.

  
"Thank you. I can lean on the e-edge for now." He took his arm off her shoulder and supported himself on the short wall. "This is b-breathtaking."

  
The two spent the first minute not saying a word, only taking in the view. The sunshine added color to the cubical, monochrome city.

  
"I've been questioning my place...i-in the Council, and the Order in general. The Jedi are becoming something I n-never imagined. And I want to apologize, for it seems you've been right about us all a-along." He stole a glance from Satine.

  
Satine held mixed feelings about the confession. She wholeheartedly agreed that the Jedi had changed for the worse, even more so that the war was the root of the change. But she knew that Obi-Wan was protective and loyal to a fault towards what he valued and loved, and it heavily dismayed her that something he so passionately devoted his life to had only disappointed him in return.

  
She chose her next words carefully. "You need not apologize, Obi." She turned to face him. "This is a cause you've sacrificed your life to since you were hardly a child. It's easy to be blinded by the change of the very thing you've been so deeply loyal to when that's the only thing you've grown up with."

  
"But you were wise, and you s-saw the flaws of your people and you had the courage to c-correct it."

  
"Only two of us rule Mandalore: myself and the Prime Minister. You lead the Jedi Order on even ground with 11 others, isn't that right?"

  
"Well, Master Yoda tends to t-take the lead on our affairs and concerns overall. Master Windu and I have somewhat more of a say in matters and are trusted more, but that is true for Master Windu more than it is for me." Obi-Wan explained.

  
Satine chuckled. "Well, you can't exactly take over the Order. And you shouldn't have to. The other Council members should hold themselves accountable for their part."

  
Obi-Wan sighed. "Even if that happens, I'm n-not sure what it would look like. The Order has made it this far with the Republic and the Grand Army; it's highly u-unlikely that we'll back out."

  
"I know we have disagreed about this conflict from the beginning, and I know I've said some rather bold, direct things in the heat of the moment, but I used to believe in the Jedi very strongly. And I believe in you; that will never change." Satine reassured him.

  
Obi-Wan smiled small. "And despite my past o-oppositions to your decision of complete neutrality, Mandalore continues to prosper and thrive. You should b-be proud of what you've established, and a-all on your own. I know I've not always been supportive in the past. I want to p-protect you, make sure you stay safe. But I-I will start trusting you more."

  
Satine also smiled. "Your fierce loyalty to the Republic and the Order isn't always something I personally agree with, but it is something I will always respect. From what I've heard about your Code, you seem to be the one who upholds it the most. In my opinion, you're about the only honorable Jedi left. Even though you are a general in the Grand Army, I _know_ you. I know you don't like any of this. I know murdering people is your last resort. You feel stuck. Stuck between what you have devoted your entire life to, and what that very thing you're committed to is becoming." Her words pierced into his soul even more than her eyes did. Satine had always been shrewd, and she was rarely inaccurate in her evaluations.

  
"I never want you to leave because of me; I want you to decide for yourself. But if you're so disillusioned with the Order, and find that you have nowhere else to go, this will always be a safe place for you to land...or crash. Hopefully land, next time." She giggled.

  
Obi-Wan relaxed a little and laughed. "Thank you, Satine. I can't say that there's a-anywhere else I'd rather b-be right now." He slightly blushed. He started to become dazed, but this time, it wasn't due to brain damage.

  
This amused the Duchess. "As composed and collected as you are around everyone else, you can never seem to keep it together around me." She teased as she maintained her grin.

  
This only made him blush harder, turning red. He bashfully looked down, then back up at Satine. "What can I say?" The smitten Jedi's voice wavered.

  
Satine adjusted her pose and placed her hand on her chin, taking in his every feature. She would love to run her hands through his gorgeous, auburn hair. She hoped he'd never dye it. If he ever wanted to, she wouldn't let him. And maybe, just maybe she could convince him to shave that beard. Although it truly was very attractive.

  
"I didn't say I don't like it." She subtly bit her lip as she eyed him up and down. She could have a little fun without pushing it, right?

  
Obi-Wan wasn't fully processing her words; he was lost in _her_. How she smelled of lilies, the way the golden hues of the sun and her cool blue eyes met and rivaled, how she let go and loosened up whenever he was there.

  
He stumbled out of his trance when his breathing became heavy. He clutched his chest.

  
Satine, immediately concerned, turned from her flirtatious self to her serious, dutiful self once again. "How about we get you home?" She offered herself as his crutch.

  
Obi-Wan leaned on her again, and they began walking. He wasn't excited about putting the mask on again, but he knew he needed to if he wanted to recover. "I suppose that's a g-good idea."

______________________________________________________________________________

Several weeks had passed since Obi-Wan had crashed on the almost completely desert planet. When the Duchess wasn't tending to her duties on Mandalore, she was exchanging stories and details of her role and tasks with the injured Jedi and reliving the sentamentalities of the past they shared with him.

  
"When I heard that two Jedi were coming to protect and defend me, I didn't know what to think; I was terrified. Not of you, of course. I was terrified that the situation had reached such a point. You were always there to calm me down, to reassure and encourage. You were so sweet and optimistic. And Qui-Gon was always so...philosophical. He saw each and every scenario or shortcoming as an opportunity to learn a lesson, and he managed to make each one a lesson for us. That was the worst year of my life, and you two got me through it." They were both seated on a couch in Satine's quarters late that afternoon, casually enjoying refreshments.

  
Obi-Wan looked down and smiled fondly at the memories the Duchess' words triggered as they came flooding back. Satine studied his face and took notice of the lingering sadness in his eyes. "That was just one of his attributes that made him special, set him apart from everyone else. He was the wisest person I have ever come to know. Surely you remember his mischievous side, though. Every time he had that characteristic twinkle in his e-eye, I knew he was going to do something to stress out the Council. _I_ was the one that had to tell _him_ to stay out of trouble, and on numerous occasions."

  
Satine chuckled as she sipped her wine. She then covered her mouth, trying not to let any spill out.

  
She swallowed and cleared her throat. "Of course I remember. I questioned so many of his solutions and strategies, but he was rarely wrong, if ever. His instinct was impeccable, almost unreal."

  
"He had a way of yielding to the Force like no other. It was truly his guide i-in every decision he made." Obi-Wan explained. He released a sigh. "Not a day passes that I don't think about him. Whenever I'm unsure about anything, I ask myself what he would do."

  
"He was a wonderful mentor, even to me. I know he was your father in a sense. I'm truly sorry about what that Sith lord did to him. I know it still hurts."

  
"Thank you. It's in the past, and I try not to let it affect me as it does every day, but..." He paused, shaking his head. "Qui-Gon would probably think that his death was the will of the Force." The two sat quietly for a minute. Then Obi-Wan broke the silence by taking a sip of his tea, and Satine by pouring herself another glass of wine.

  
Obi-Wan raised a brow in response. "I hope you're going to let me have some instead o-of finishing that entire bottle yourself."

  
"Oh, I don't think so." Satine countered. "You need to wait at least another week before you have any alcohol. I can save the rest of this bottle for tomorrow."

  
"You can't be serious."

  
"I am. I'm just trying to make certain that you recover as much as you can with your brain damage. How are your sessions with your speech therapist going?"

  
"I think things are g-going well. She did tell me that I will never be completely free of my speech disorder; I have to work around it, and that's fine. At least I can speak two sentences without stammering now."

  
"If it's any consolation, I find it a little endearing."

  
Obi-Wan chuckled, cheeks becoming slightly rosy. He awkwardly cast his eyes down in his signature way that Satine couldn't get enough of. "Really?" He spoke a bit dryly.

  
"Yes. And you've always stammered some around me, anyway. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the perfect, charismatic Jedi constantly becomes flustered around me, and it's endearing. And amusing." She playfully jabbed him in the side.

  
Obi-Wan laughed. "What are you doing?" His laughter was contagious, and sparked a burst from Satine.

  
"I'm sorry that I lose my composure over the very sight of you, but I-I just cannot help it." He shyly looked her up and down.

  
She sighed blissfully. "And I would never want it to change."

  
The two quieted down for a moment, and the atmosphere became more serious. "In the...hypothetical scenario that you were to stay here, where could you imagine yourself?" She spun her glass in her hand.

  
"Hmm..." He paused for consideration. "I would be rather content as your consort and support; I'd be happy to assist you in anything you needed help with. Perhaps I could serve as a d-diplomat or liaison. I should hope that I wouldn't have to give up my religion, however. I promise that the way of the Jedi is not to run about with a lightsaber, seeking violence. We are to be peacekeepers, but our involvement in these wars has made us turn a blind eye to the fact that we're actively breaking the Code."

  
"I will never ask you to give up your ways. In fact, I wish I could be a part of your culture sometimes. I would be stupid not to believe in the Force, especially after having seen you use it plenty of times. But I suppose that's all I can do."

  
Obi-Wan shook his head. "You may not be Force-sensitive necessarily, but the Force does live in you. It lives in and between all things. It is omnipresent." He suddenly stood. "Come." He grabbed her hand.

  
Satine said nothing, but followed his lead. They both stood there hand-in-hand, just to take in the moment.

  
"Sit." He gently instructed. She again instinctively agreed and followed. She positioned herself with her legs to one side while he sat cross-legged across from her.

  
Obi-Wan grinned. "Not quite like that. Cross your legs."

  
She did so, though at this point she had become slightly puzzled by the requests. "What are we about to do, meditate?" She joked.

  
"Actually, yes."

  
This surprised her, and she was immediately skeptical. "Do you really think that I'm able to–"

  
"Don't doubt yourself. I k-know you can do this. Now, hands on your knees."

  
Satine sighed. "Well, all right then. Now what?"

  
He grinned again, amused that she didn't seem to know the next step. "Close your eyes." He cocked his head toward her.

  
"Oh! Right." She did just that.

  
Hardly a few seconds passed by when Obi-Wan spoke again. "You're tense."

  
Satine scoffed. "Can you _really_ feel that?"

  
"You'd be surprised what we can sense. Relax your shoulders. Be confident, yet at rest." He encouraged. He was only half-present, already so focused, the Duchess noticed upon opening her eyes. He made it look so easy.

  
"You can't connect with the Force if your eyes are wide open."

  
Satine huffed and closed her eyes again.

  
"Now, what do you see?"

  
"I see...light, and then I see its shadow. I see life, followed by death, only feeding into new life. A cycle. But the death is...it's not its own entity, it is an aspect of life; its very producer."

  
"Good." Obi-Wan encouraged. "And what else?"

  
I see light being overcome by darkness, and vice-versa. I see violence and deception now." She tensed slightly.

  
"It's all right, d-don't dwell much on that. What's next?"

  
She breathed deep, slow breaths. "I see chaos at war with complete tranquility. Destruction. Loss. Wait!" She gasped.

  
"What is it?"

  
"A resolve, a catalyst. A _balance._ "

  
Obi-Wan's eyes quickly opened in a sort of shock.

  
Satine's skepticism and frustration temporarily got the better of her. "Does this mean _anything_?"

  
"Amazing." Obi-Wan half-whispered.

  
Satine furrowed a brow, but kept her eyes closed. "I'll take that as a yes then."

  
"Only your first time meditating, and you've already seen the essence of the Force. I knew you could, but I didn't know you'd learn so quickly."

  
"Maybe you're just a remarkable teacher." She smiled.

  
"Are there other things you can do aside from this and...making inanimate objects float?"

  
"Well, yes. One thing I try to make use of is Force-healing, which is self-explanatory."

  
"You're telling me that you could have healed yourself weeks ago this entire time?"

  
"–That's _not_ how it works, Satine."

  
The Duchess let out a little laugh, eyes still closed.


	6. Melancholia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who lied about this fic's length? *obnoxiously points to self*
> 
> When I copied and pasted the original chapter to Wattpad to find out the word count, it was 2400+ words already, and I knew I still at least had 1000 words to go, probably more. I didn't want this chapter to be so disproportionate to the others, so I cut it at what's honestly kind of a depressing place, hence this chapter's new title: Melancholia.
> 
> The next chapter is all about Obi's decisions, I promise! Well, after he and Anakin get to visit a certain senator. ;)

The next morning, Obi-Wan received a comm from Anakin, who told him that the Council wanted him to leave that very evening to inform them of where his mind was regarding his places of leadership in the Order and the Grand Army of the Republic. Until then, he spent the day getting a small taste of what being an assistant to Satine would be like. She asked him to follow her around for the day, which included attending two meetings on the affairs of the education system set in place, and he readily agreed. He only helped her with small things mostly, like delivering information to the senator or the Prime Minister. But he also asserted himself and acted as a catalyst for all sides in the meetings, expressing each person's perspective in an unbiased manner, thus helping the leaders come to agreements or compromises.

He could live doing this, he thought. Not only could he just _live_ like this, but he already enjoyed it. Satine seemed pleased in how he spoke on behalf of everybody in the room during the meetings, letting everyone be heard. To her, a future for him here was very possible and within reach. She hoped that the man she had loved for almost two decades would decide to stay.

"It's a wonder you're known as 'The Negotiator.'" Satine told him sarcastically, grinning as they walked shoulder-to-shoulder through the throne room. The skies of the day had already fallen. "Your diplomacy skills have only improved over the years. I'm impressed."

Obi-Wan slowed his pace, turned towards her, and smiled. "When you're stuck in war, yet trying to spare the lives of the innocents caught in b-between, you get creative." He explained, slowing to a stop. “I’ve enjoyed each day here, but today especially.”

"I'm glad. It was a breath of fresh air to have you helping out; things don't usually go as smoothly in the meeting room. You make a wonderful diplomat." Satine rather impulsively stepped closer and cupped his face with her hand. "I really need you, but for more than that."

Obi-Wan swallowed and grabbed her free hand while wrapping his left arm around her, trying to be mindful of his limits. At the same time, she had him intoxicated. "It's difficult to say no to you." He spoke hardly above a whisper, looking her in the eyes, then at her lips, and back into her eyes.

Satine closed her eyes, striving to live in the present moment. For all she knew, he might stay in the Order and try to fix the aspects he found fault with. It was his decision, but she didn't want the little time she had left with him to slip away.

She opened her eyes. "Dance with me."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Just dance with me, please." She took her hand away from his face and rested it on his shoulder.

The Jedi hesitated, but smiled and placed his left hand on her waist, and together they started to waltz. The throne room conveniently doubled as the perfect ballroom; it was spacious, and the large glass panes that made up the walls and roof allowed the light of Concordia and Randavia to shine inside.

So in the moonlight, they danced. This was the first time they had ever danced together, but it wasn't awkward. They were perfectly in sync with one another. Foreheads pressed together, they were wordless as they took advantage of the large scale of the room, for they communicated perfectly through each movement, each gesture, expression and breath. Content in eachother, they graced the floor.

After thirty minutes or so, the waltz turned into smaller movements side-to-side.

Satine rested her head on Obi-Wan's chest. "I never want this to end." She whispered.

Obi-Wan spoke, "Satine, I–"

"Master Kenobi."

The couple whirled, though still holding hands. A man stood at the door leading outside. He held Kenobi's bag. "I'm assisting the pilot on your trip back to Coruscant. He is ready."

Obi-Wan had forgotten about the trip to be made. He looked back at Satine, who shared the same sad smile that he had.

She squeezed his hands, and he squeezed back. He couldn't say the words, not again.

He stood there with her for several moments, looking into her eyes. Feeling like he was fighting the weight of the galaxy, he very slowly let go and walked away.

Satine's face fell as she stood there, frozen as he made his way to the door. Eventually, she turned and headed the opposite direction, her head hung low.

Obi-Wan stopped and looked back. Was that a sniffle he heard echo?

The Duchess was already gone.

The copilot at the door shook Obi-Wan's hand and gave him his bag. "Your weapon is inside." He gave a pleasant smile.

"Thank you sir." Obi-Wan offered him the best smile he could currently muster. Then the man led him to a speeder and flew it to the landing pad, where a small but regal ship was waiting. Once inside, he removed his lightsaber from his bag and hooked it on its place on his belt.

The somber trip seemed like an eternity in duration. But when Obi-Wan saw his best friend waiting on the landing pad as the ship lowered, he felt a small wave of comfort. Anakin would support him, no matter what. Padmé, too.

But what would the Council think? He would certainly miss them if he left, but he didn't expect them to understand.

And what about Cody? What would he think? How would the next general treat him and the 212th?

_What would Qui-Gon think?_

As the ship began its landing, Obi-Wan reflected on a memory from during the year he and his Master had spent on Mandalore protecting the Duchess. By a quarter into the year, the teenaged Padawan had noticeably become particularly distracted. In some down time between threats by bounty hunters, master and apprentice tended to ship repairs while Satine rested.

_“Obi-Wan?”_

_“Yes, Master?” The Padawan asked distantly, idly operating on the primary steering mechanism of the aircraft._

_“I can tell that something is bothering you; you’ve been so absent-minded. Is there anything you’d like to talk with me about?”_

_“Oh. umm...the only thing, Master, is the pressures of this mission." He paused. "We are responsible for the life of a monarch, and these bounty hunters are constantly chasing us to capture and kill her. It’s...taxing.” He went right back to work, hoping Qui-Gon would shrug it off._

_He then heard his Master’s footsteps and felt his hand on his shoulder. He slowly gave him his attention again._

_“Be not ashamed of your feelings or your affections, they are only natural. Feel what you do, but don’t let these feelings control you. Give your thoughts and emotions equal room. And above all else, let the Force guide you in every decision.”_

_He should have known that he couldn’t fool him._

_"It's...it's painful, Master." Obi-Wan gave up and put down his tools. He may have looked as if he was getting something done, but his head had been in the clouds the entire time. "I wish I didn't like her, because I know when this is all over, we'll have to part ways."_

_Qui-Gon gave a small nod of understanding. “Trust me, I’m no stranger to what you’re experiencing. Come, let us take a break and meditate about it. Rather than searching for an immediate solution, feel what the Force wills to be done as these next weeks go by.”_

Obi-Wan looked back on the days following that memory. He recounted numerous times when he and Satine found themselves in awkward situations; the tension only built from there. The future leader would tell the Padawan learner off for the measures he took to protect her, protesting whenever he took her hand and ran, or on the less frequent occasions when he activated his lightsaber. Whether the two were engaging in light banter or in heated debate, the tension between them was obvious. Nevertheless, it was never outright addressed at the time.

_“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m going to miss you running to my rescue.” The eighteen year-old Mandalorian sighed at the end of the harsh year, playing with the sleeve of his cloak. She knew what was next. She would take the throne as head of the state, and rebuild the shattered system. She was nervous, she was pressured. But she was willing._

_“Do you think we’ll ever see eachother again?” She looked up into his eyes for an answer._

_Obi-Wan looked to his sides, then back down at her. “I don’t know about seeing. But with this, I’ll at least be able to hear your voice.” He handed her an extra comlink from a pocket in his utility belt._

_Satine held onto his hand, then looked up to give him a smile, though a sad one._

_“...Obi-Wan?”_

_He hadn't taken his eyes off her. “Yes?”_

_She opened her mouth to speak, but the words refused to come. She was afraid to ask the question in mind. It was selfish._

_“...Um...I-I–”_

_“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon approached, “We must depart.”_

_Satine looked down, immediately regretting her hesitation. She quickly tore her hand away from the Jedi’s._

_Obi-Wan’s forehead creased in a painful sorrow._

_Satine placed her hands behind her back and nodded to the master and his apprentice. “I will be forever grateful for your commitment to my protection. You both make excellent Jedi and companions. Without you two, I wouldn’t have made it through.” Her eyes rested on Obi-Wan, looking at him one last time._

_He did the same, and nodded back, as Qui-Gon spoke up. “The pleasure is all ours, Miss Kryze. You have a passionate ambition and a determination stronger than I’ve ever seen. I wish you wisdom and good fortune as the next leader of Mandalore.” He slowly headed towards the Republic transport._

_Obi-Wan cleared his throat. “Goodbye, Satine.” His voice was noticeably strained. The Mandalorian said nothing at first, so he turned and began to follow his master._

_“Goodbye, Obi.” He stopped in his tracks and turned his head. She was in tears._

_This caused his chest to ache. He swallowed the growing lump in his throat, then he turned back around against a tangible weight and walked towards the ship._

In tears, he had left her. Nineteen years later, he had done it again.

_He was tired of leaving her. He was tired of not staying._


	7. Contemplation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I lie about this fic's length again?
> 
> –Maybe.
> 
> Am I reasonably sure that the next chapter will be the last chapter?
> 
> –Yes, but this time I'm making no promises.
> 
> I guess I'm just bad at estimating fic lengths.
> 
> Sorry this update took so long! To keep it short, life has been more of a living hell than usual and I've been having trouble figuring out the structure of these last chapters.
> 
> Anyway, my next fic in this AU would be about Bo coming to Sundari and it would have a lot to do with her and Satine repairing their relationship and working out compromises. I'm hesitant to write it though, since I don't know of any Satine stans who actually acknowledge her flaws. But I'm considering it! I've discovered that Bo is really fun to write, and she's got to come into the story sometime, because I love her and the dynamic between her, Satine and Obi-Wan would be really awesome and hilarious.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Side note: Nobody ships Obitine more than Anakin.

_______________________________________

“Master Kenobi, we have landed. Are you ready?”

Obi-Wan, who had been looking wistfully out a window of the ship, quickly turned his head to find the pilot standing right behind him at the ramp.

“Oh, yes. Thank you for safely transporting me here.” He reached into a pocket of his bag and handed the Mandalorian some credits, then did the same for his copilot. Neither seemed to expect it, but thanked him.

“Master,” Anakin walked up to him, “I’m so glad to see you walking again!” When they began walking to the public transport awaiting them, he quickly realized that Obi-Wan didn’t share his level of glee.

Anakin appropriately changed his affect to a more somber one. “You’re hurting, aren’t you? You miss her.”

Obi-Wan lifted his head. “Very much.”

Anakin placed his arm around the Master’s shoulder. He had never seen such expression in his mentor’s eyes before. Before he had left, he just looked empty. Now, he looked broken. “Regardless of what you decide, I’m right here with you. Always. And so is Padme, who actually wants to know if you’ll come to her apartment for a short visit this evening.”

“Oh, what about the C-Council?”

“Master Windu told me that you won’t officially check in with them until tomorrow.”

“Well in that case, I accept. I honestly don’t wish to be alone right now.”

Anakin was surprised by the depth of emotion that Obi-Wan expressed. Obi-Wan himself usually would strictly control himself, he knew. But Anakin spoke nothing of it, knowing that the Jedi rarely properly addressed his emotions.

“Then that’s what we’ll do, as soon as we show the pilots to their rooms at the Temple.” Anakin nodded as he entered the transport. Obi-Wan allowed the two Mandalorian pilots to enter first, then followed.

After leading the pilots to their rooms and making sure their needs were met, Anakin and Obi-Wan hailed a cab speeder and headed to Padmé's dwelling.

“I’ve got it, Obi-Wan.” Anakin paid and generously tipped the driver before exiting. Then, the duo approached the senator’s door and rang the bell.

“Obi-Wan!” she promptly answered and embraced him. “How are you? All healed up?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile at his dear friend’s cheery demeanor. “Almost. My headaches are gone, but everything else still hurts a little, especially my ribs.” He would later discover that Satine had packed painkillers in his bag with instructions, thank the Force.

“Your speech has improved greatly since we last spoke.” She led the two men to her living area, and sat across from Obi-Wan as Anakin sat by her side. She was now aware that he knew of their marriage, so she felt comfortable snuggling close to her husband.

Obi-Wan’s face fell when he was reminded of Satine. “Yes, Satine was paying for speech therapy sessions for me. It was...very helpful.”

Padmé immediately noticed the change. “Obi-Wan, what’s wrong?”

Obi-Wan looked down, hands folded in his lap. He couldn’t bring himself to talk about it at first.

Padmé thought her best friend was going to cry. She walked over and sat down beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder and holding his hand. Anakin sat on his other side. “You know you can tell us anything.” Padmé’s and his friendship had always been just slightly unbalanced, due to the Jedi Master’s tendency to suppress his emotions while always being there for Padmé's every concern. While she respected his obedience to his Code, she thought it very unhealthy. All that aside, she was glad – no, she was grateful – that he was entrusting his feelings to her, if for only the once.

“I...I left her. A-again.” He stuttered in his upset, his face riddled with pain.

Anakin and Padmé were quiet, quicker to listen than to speak.

“It’s hard to not become more attached when the person at your side during y-your lengthy recovery is the person you’ve loved for nearly twenty years. Yesterday, we reflected on old memories together, and she told me she wanted to connect with the Force. We meditated together, and she saw it. She saw its essence.” He glanced up at Anakin, then looked back down. “And tonight we, uh...we…”

Anakin exchanged glances with his wife, grinning. “So, you two ha–”

“–We danced together, in the throne room. When she grabbed my face, I could have kissed her.” Obi-Wan unintentionally interrupted. “She asked me to shadow her today, and I got to help oversee two meetings, and we made compromises between each party. Satine said the meetings usually never go so smoothly. I enjoyed it. I uh, I forgot ab-bout the trip back here until the pilot called my name as we were dancing.” The small smile that he had before now faded.

“...Oh.” Anakin was a little disappointed. But on the bright side, Obi-Wan’s and Satine’s relationship was still _definitely_ progressing.

Anakin cleared his throat. “I understand that you’re torn, and knowing you, you probably feel that if you choose to go back, you’re betraying the Council. And the 212th, Cody included.” He knew he was right when he saw his former Master tense up at his words.

Padmé spoke up, “You’re afraid you’re going to make the wrong choice. But something you’ve told me, and probably Anakin as well, is that you often try to step into Qui-Gon’s shoes, especially when you’re stuck. So what would he do?”

Obi-Wan knew immediately. “He would follow the will of the Force.”

Padmé smiled as Anakin spoke next. “When you ventured out into space, Master, what made you decide on the Outer Rim territories?”

“...I didn’t. I just jumped to lightspeed without thinking about it.”

“Hmm.” Anakin paused. “And do you think that my ship gave up by coincidence as you were hovering over the Mandalore system?”

Obi-Wan scoffed. “That bucket of bolts was highly fortunate to even make the jump.”

“My point exactly.”

Obi-Wan looked up at Anakin. “What exactly are you implying?”

“Only what you’ve already been questioning.” Anakin crossed his arms. “And on top of that, you miraculously survived your crash, and got to spend over two months with Satine. So what do you think the Force’s will is pointing towards?”

“You can’t worry about what the Council will think of you if you decide to leave.” Said Padmé, after giving him a few moments to ponder Anakin’s words. “The Council is only becoming more and more cold, pretentious, and dogmatic. This war is only hardening them, and perhaps even twisting their perspective of things. I know you enjoy serving, but the Order is not what it used to be.”

“Plo Koon and I have discussed the future of the Order before; it was the day after Ahsoka left, in fact. We have b-both agreed that it might be best to try and preserve what’s left of its positive virtues.”

“Obi-Wan, do you really think you’re that powerful? That puts an awful lot of pressure on both you and Plo Koon.”

“And Obi-Wan, you and Anakin both have been miserable since Ahsoka’s departure; would the Force really will for you two to remain this way? There’s nothing wrong with doing what’s in your best interest sometimes. You can’t keep giving to something that only takes from you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Padmé jumped in.

Obi-Wan remained quiet, pondering the sentiments of his two best friends. When a question did eventually pop up, he hesitated to ask it, fearful of being insensitive to the couple.

“What, what is it?” Asked Anakin. He knew his former Master well, and could tell when something was on his mind.

“I just...don’t want to be selfish.”

“Obi-Wan, I don’t see how it’s selfish to pursue someone you truly love.” Replied the Naboo senator. “You are loyal – and I would say to a fault – to the Council. You’re the most selfless person I know. You can embrace your love for another and still serve people. You’ll be the Duke consort of Mandalore if you marry Satine. Consorts do plenty. They can be diplomats, ambassadors, liaisons, assistants, coordinators, confidants, supporters and founders of impactful organizations – you name it. You are anything but selfish, Obi-Wan.” She smiled. “And I just want to see you happy. You have been completely disoriented ever since Ahsoka left. I want you at peace.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself.” Anakin grinned. “I second that.”

The three talked for a while longer, changing the conversation to a more lighthearted one. Then the two Jedi said goodnight; Obi-Wan with a hug and a big thank you for the advice, and Anakin with a kiss and a promise to hologram his wife.

The duo experienced a near-silent ride in the taxi back to the Temple. Only Jedi Knights and Masters wandered the halls at this hour, and not many of them. The Padawans’ and younglings’ curfews had passed, and all but the eldest were fast asleep.

As the two quietly traveled to the Knights’ and Masters’ corridors, Obi-Wan asked Anakin if he was also thinking of leaving the Order.

“I am. I’m still angry at the Council for how they treated Ahsoka, and it’s been a tough couple of months here. It might’ve been more bearable had you still been here.”

“I _was_ angry, I’ll admit. But think about it: if o-our very Council will expel a sixteen year old Padawan over no solid evidence, and leave her at the mercy of the Republic and charges threatening her w-with death, all in the name of politics, then what else will they do for the same reason?” Obi-Wan shook his head, the guilt still eating at him. “I want to be associated with them no longer.”

“I hear you. What I can’t believe is that Master Yoda not only allowed, but supported this outcome. I think what little trust I had in him is gone.”

“I should’ve done more.”

Anakin turned towards the other man. “Master, as a member of the Council, didn’t you do all you could?”

“I could have done more. I likely would have been suspended or e-expelled for it, but at least Ahsoka would have known that I was there for her, that she could count on me. I didn’t do a fantastic job of expressing it.”

“Listen, I doubt Ahsoka expected you to sacrifice your place in the Order for her. She knows she can trust you.”

“Does she?” Anakin saw the same emptiness he had taken note of the day that he had left, the same emptiness that had probably been in his own eyes.

“She might not trust you as much as she does me, but that’s because I was her Master. You were definitely a master to her yourself in many ways.”

The two had just reached the fork where the hallway split into the Knights’ and Masters’ separate hallways.

“Well, Obi-Wan, you have some things to sleep on, so I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I’m not the only one. Goodnight, Anakin.”

With a nod to the other, the two parted ways.

When Obi-Wan got to his room, he set his bag down on the floor and changed into nightclothes: a loose, cream-colored top and light tan lounge pants. He then drank water from his flask.

After setting the flask down, he was reminded of something that had come into his possession before the bombing of the Temple had occurred. He opened a small box that was atop his dresser to see that the Kyber crystal he had harvested before was still safely inside. He was initially planning to make a new lightsaber, but the crystal was oddly stubborn. After weeks of trying to bond with it, it had still remained clear.

If it had been meant for someone else, then why did it sing to him that day in the cave on Ilum?

This remained a burning question as he picked the crystal up, looked over it again, and temporarily put it back in its box to search for something in his tool belt.

Perhaps it was to serve a different purpose. Perhaps he was to give it to someone.


	8. A Note From the Author

Hello, readers! Obviously, I haven't posted the final chapter, and to tell the truth, I haven't been working on it either. My love for this ship has dissipated. I myself have become disillusioned with Satine after having learned that it's heavily implied that she whitewashed Mandalore, among other decisions she made. I know I said I might write a sequel fic addressing that, but like I said, I'm over this ship and I doubt that Satine stans would care much for it, so I'm sorry, but this fic is staying as is for now :(

What I _have_ been working on is developing my Padawan OCs, who I've been contemplating sharing with you, as they are each a huge part of my life. I live in Star Wars and daydream about these three all the time because I don't really like my own life. They are my comfort and my distraction. If you'd like to see a sneak peak of them for now, check out my Pinterest account (@::cloneforce99) and you'll find them under their own boards (Abel, Amaryllis, and Charis).

And something that I've only now been contemplating working on is an angsty fic about Fives and Rex (no, not as a ship), and I'm developing this in my head as I type.

So if you're interested in any of these, please stay tuned! Thank you for your patience and support.


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